I cringe almost every time I scroll through my Facebook feed. Because I’m involved in the SEO industry, I see almost every promoted and boosted search engine optimization related ad and content.
The majority of them are pure bullshit, offering to “teach,” “mentor,” or give the “secret sauce.” What’s even more cringe-worthy than the actual offers are the comments on the posts and the fact that these SEO frauds are actually making a lot of money peddling their crap.
These scam artist clowns are so good at what they do, that actual industry companies are fooled by their smoke, mirrors, and utter bullshit. I mean, come on Ahrefs — you’re going to include Charles Floate on your afterparty marketing material for your November 2nd event? LOL. Wow. Lost all respect for that company in a blink of the eye and I’m sure anyone in the industry with common sense and a moral compass feels the same way.
Imagine that. An SEO clown so good at pulling the wool over faces that a (once) respectable SEO software company has included him in their marketing materials. Forget that this individual is a complete clown and has been proven to be many times. There are plenty of those. But this one has been criminally charged with (and pleaded guilty to) possession of child porn and hacking government websites. Is this someone you would want to associate your SEO software company with?
Ok, enough about ass-clown Charles Floate. He is just one of the many SEO clowns, gurus, and frauds that can be found every day on social media, webinars, and email inboxes pitching the most wildly absurd and outrageous ranking tips, info, products, and courses.
I know I am not the only one who scratches their head when they see this garbage, so I wanted to write an article that breaks down and explains ten reasons why people fall for this crap. It’s sad actually, because these scumbags take advantage of people. They give them false hope, take their money, then move onto their next victim. Anything they are selling in their noob catching courses can be easily found and learned online for free.
How to spot an SEO Clown..
1. Common sense goes out the window when the ‘easy road’ carrot is dangled in front of most eyes.
The majority of people are lazy. They want the end result without putting in the work. This is why the supplement and diet pill industry prints money. Someone would rather take a bullshit pill than go to the gym for an hour every day. And guess what? They don’t get the results they wanted because they decided to opt for the easy road and not put in the work.
The same applies to SEO. Everyone wants to rank on top and experience the benefit of organic traffic, but nobody wants to take the time to create content, establish relationships, secure top links, etc. They would rather buy some bullshit e-course that promises top rankings in 30 days. The end result? They waste money and 30 days that could have been spent doing actual work.
When I see an ad on social media that promises top local rankings in 24 hours it makes me cringe, but it is appealing to lazy people that will try anything hoping for a shortcut to success, which just doesn’t exist. They all end up learning that the hard way.
2. Financial gain is what most are after at all costs resulting in clouded judgment.
Everyone wants to be financially secure. The thought of SEO success and the financial benefits of ranking on top causes many people to make decisions that aren’t always the most logical. When these fake SEO gurus post screenshots of Shopify store earnings or affiliate earnings they are often photoshopped and an outright lie, or they are very misguiding.
The same goes for keywork rankings. They will often show results for keywords that take zero effort to rank, like a small town business name. Most people aren’t SEO savvy, so they don’t know the difference between a brand name with zero competition that will rank with zero SEO, and a difficult keyword with thousands of websites going after it.
The thought of money and duplicating the “success” shown by these clowns causes clouded judgment and bad purchase decisions. Again, there are no shortcuts.
3. Many people trust self-proclaimed and manufactured (fake) authority.
Manufactured authority is everywhere, and sadly a lot of people are falling for it. How many times have you seen someone try to leverage the fact that they have been “featured” on top websites, painting the picture that they are an expert. It happens all the time, and it’s the main reason people come to us for top media links.
It’s getting stale and over saturated. While some people are discrediting this, many still fall for it. Most of these SEO clowns simply take some money and do a PR campaign, getting quotes and mentions on as many big media outlets as possible and then pimp it out, on their own websites, to their email list, and on social media.
They are deeming themselves an expert. The authority they claim is manufactured. It kills me when I see SEOs say, “I’ve been featured by SE Journal, SEMrush and Ahrefs.” L-O-L funny.
4. Scarcity and scare tactics work as they cause a serious case of FOMO.
“I’m only taking the first 10 students who apply for this top secret SEO master ranking class.”
“This is usually $4,997, but if you act right now you can get access to my SEO secrets for just $37. In 3 minutes and 30 seconds the price goes back up.”
This is the kind of scare tactics these clowns use in their sales copy to instill FOMO — fear of missing out. Most will think it is too good to be true, but what if it isn’t? What if this is the one program that is real. These are the same gullible people that buy WSO products. They waste all of their money chasing the quick buck.
I can tell you first-hand that there is no fast track to building a successful business online. You need to put in the work. When done right you build an actual business.
5. Those in bad spots become increasingly vulnerable to complete and utter bullshit.
People that are in a bad spot financially, whether personally or in their business, will often become so desperate that they drop their guard and become vulnerable to the bullshit. These SEO clowns know this, so they tend to bottom feed where these people are and where they can appear to be the saving grace.
They will post in Facebook groups full of desperate unsuccessful people, and it’s like fishing with dynamite. Have you ever seen the “testimonials” some of these scum bags post? They leverage the uneducated to attract even more uneducated “clients” and “customers.” It’s such a pathetic sight.
It would be like finding a homeless and hungry person on the street and telling them that if they gave up their last 10-cents they would receive a guide on how to eat like a king for free every day. They are in such a bad spot that they would do it, with hope that it was real, even though their common sense is saying it’s probably bullshit.
6. The ‘good life’ portrayed on social media is perceived as reality.
Social media is not real. Let me repeat this loud and clear: Social media is a highlight reel, where people portray pure happiness and success. Nobody is posting on social media when they are sad or to show off their 1997 Honda Civic. Everything you see on social media is enhanced to make the person appear happy and successful, and the SEO clown crew uses it to manipulate the lemmings that follow them.
They will post pictures from nice locations, wearing fancy clothes, and driving nice cars. This is all a marketing ploy, and the sad thing is that the money used to acquire these material possessions was not made by actually doing SEO. It was made by selling bullshit to people. Imagine that. These SEO frauds don’t make their money doing SEO. They make their money telling people how to do SEO.
Posing a picture next to a Range Rover sadly confuses people and tricks them into thinking that their $197 e-course will give them the same life.
7. Fake gurus flock together and leverage each other to exponentially spread their lies and bullshit.
I like to refer to this as the SEO circle jerk club. You see the same clowns commenting, sharing, and endorsing each other. This causes their bullshit to spread faster than herpes in Las Vegas. It’s an epidemic and it needs to be stopped.
They all work together and release new products and courses at different times, leveraging each other’s lists and followers to maximize sales. They don’t even always use affiliate links either, which causes people to believe they truly are endorsing and recommending something in a genuine manner. This isn’t the case. They will suggest anything as long as it means that other person will return the favor and introduce their bullshit to their lemming followers. Remember, you are who you surround yourself with. This trash of the SEO world all hangs out in the same circle of shit.
8. These gurus are masters at manipulation and taking an easy example and making it appear to apply to all situations.
I mentioned this earlier, but let me expand. People love visual examples when they are trying to understand something. These clowns know this, so they combine fast talking and outrageous claims with very impressive, yet vague, examples.
You see, when they talk about ranking on top of Google and pulling in thousands of visitors a day and then flash an image of their rankings, showing 10 keywords at the number one position they will be blocked out, so you aren’t sure what the terms are.
Yes, they are their results, but they are more than likely results for keywords that a website would automatically rank for with nothing more than on-page optimization. The type of person to buy into this is the same person that doesn’t understand that there are multiple layers of keyword difficulty. Ranking for “Joe’s daily farm in Mobile Alabama” is much different than ranking for “criminal defense lawyer in Los Angeles.”
9. Weak-minded individuals are tricked into believing that they are a ‘hater’ if they don’t believe the information presented to them.
These guru clowns take a lot of heat, but they quickly claim that anyone questioning them is a “hater” and refuse to allow anyone to dispute their outlandish claims. Weak-minded people tend to be attracted to each other, and all it takes is one to believe the guru and give his or her vote of support and the rest follow blindly.
They are correct, there is a lot of hate directed towards them, but for the right reason. It sure isn’t because of their success or the information they are providing. It’s all useless and manufactured. The hate is genuine hate for being scum bags.
10. Since SEO is always changing it allows these gurus to constantly make excuses and offer new secret sauce.
Now, since they sling so much bullshit there is always bound to be some negative reviews that surface and people that will voice their displeasure with their purchase experience. This is why they are always pumping out new programs and courses. First, they always need to be selling something with a fresh name that won’t bring up negative reviews with a Google search. Second, it gives them something new to sell to their most gullible followers.
“Well that doesn’t work anymore. That is why you didn’t rank. But we now have this new program…”
It’s a never ending circle of lies and bullshit. The SEO industry as a whole would be much better if this trash was flushed out.
Conclusion
This is a topic I am very passionate about. I have worked my ass off for years to build an SEO agency that delivers exactly what we say, and also never uses manipulation tactics to land a client.
I will be the first person to tell you that there are absolutely no guarantees when it comes to SEO and that Google can flip the switch at any time, making it a very slippery slope, which is why you should never put all of your eggs in one basket. It’s also one of the reasons my blog contains information on other online marketing strategies, other than just SEO.
I truly care about our clients, and want to see everyone succeed. We don’t offer any Instagram growth services, yet you can find multiple posts on the blog about the topic. Why? Because diversification is key for long-term survival.
Here at SerpLogic, we want to help educate and inform with up to date information. While selling links and SEO services is how we generate revenue, it’s the overall relationships we build by doing things the right way and focusing on providing value, that has allowed us to become what we are today. No fluff. No bullshit. Just real marketing talk.
I would love to hear your opinions on SEO gurus, clowns, and frauds in the comment below. Who is your favorite? Let the fun begin. 😛
