There is no “fool proof” solution when it comes to SEO and ranking on top.. everyone wants to be #1 on Google and all of the self proclaimed “SEO gurus” change their magic success formula every time an update rolls out or there is a major shake up in the industry like a link network being uncovered.. It will always be this way.

All of these bullshit gurus (they call themselves that, I call them fools) make their money by selling you their bullshit.. a constant circle of bullshit.. They want you to buy $15 eBooks and $30 monthly “top secret hush hush” training. It is all crap.. Do you really think if they had the magic formula to beating Google they would sell it to you for $30 a month?

Come on, get real here.. Of course they wouldn’t!

They feed off of poor pathetic people that want to make money online so badly that they fall for their crap. Want to see the type of “SEO guru” I am talking about.

Take a look at this guy:


Sorry, but if you could really rank you could afford dental work.. just saying..

Here, check out this Google hangout of “elite SEOs” and tell me what you think. This is pure gold.. another member showed me this on Skype a few days back after a recent thread on a forum I frequent (Blackhatworld).. Have a cold beer and watch this seriously.. I promise you will laugh your ass off. It is both comical and very sad at the same time…

Is this real life!? They all live in complete dumps.. If you could rank don’t you think you would have a decent house? At least something that wasn’t run down.. they all look homeless. Elite SEOs? Pure lulz..

Any idiot can start a blog and call himself a guru, look at all the guru sites though.. they look like they were designed in 1998 yet they want people to believe they know what they are doing? Do you even mobile optimize bro?

I would be willing to bet that 95% of the SEO info online is worthless and wrong.

Screw these fuck pot gurus.. Here are 10 SEO lies you need to stop believing.

1. You will get penalized if you buy links

Links are the most important part of SEO. Don’t let the “content is king” crowd fool you. Content is a means to get links.. but guess what the biggest sites and companies do month after month? They buy links.. they buy as many links as they can secure. They pay off bloggers and editors at the biggest sites on the web to get their links dropped in content so they appear to be “natural” – but it is really as unnatural as you can get!

Google wants you to believe that if you buy links they will drop the hammer on your site and ruin it. Sure they would love to but only if they can catch you. If you buy crappy links then yeah you are going to get nailed. Why do you think these big sites get away with it? Because it looks natural! If there is a Travelocity link in a Huffington post story about travel then it looks perfectly legit.. The reality is the blogger or editor was slipped serious money to get that link in there – money talks, bullshit walks.

Large sites have teams of outreach people that contact bloggers and editors daily looking to drop links – Links win. They are the biggest signal Google takes into consideration.. Don’t believe anything else. Smart link building is where it’s at. You want to be able to look at your links and be confident that if a Google employee saw the link they wouldn’t look twice because it appears as natural as it gets.

You need links.. You will always need links to rank. Content, onsite optimization, etc are all important parts of SEO but nothing will ever replace the importance of links. You have to be very smart when building links or if you hire a SEO company you want to make sure they know what they are doing and aren’t building links just for the sake of building a link to throw it into a report!

2. Guest blogging links will get you a dick slap from Matt Cutts

Guest blogging is not dead..

It will never die..

The guru shit fest crew will say that guest blogging links are trouble and they should all be no-followed. These are the same clowns that have never ranked a website.. they are just preparing you for their next amazing $9.99 eBook.. but hurry there are only 3 more available at this price!

Take a look at the BHW forum market place at all the guest post services. These are blogs that are built for only one thing: for adding “native articles” with a link in them.. they are not blogs that receive real traffic.. they don’t receive real social shares.. they are faker than Pamela Anderson’s tits.

If a Google rep landed on one of these blogs they could torch every site linked to them in minutes! If you are found on this public blog network your site is toast. Say good bye to all of your hard work and money spent.. You might as well delete the site and let the domain expire because it is worthless.

Guest posting on REAL websites will never lose value. You get great links on real sites that get real traffic. People see your site, they visit after clicking on your link and you get a nice SEO benefit from the link also!

Guest blogging on Super-Elite-Guru-SEO-Master’s “blog” that hasn’t ever seen a real visitor = bad and useless. If you are found linking on here Matt Cutts will come slap your pee-pee hard.. It will sting.

Guest blogging on a site like Venture Beat = good. Very good.. You will get great SEO value and traffic from it.

3. Content needs to be 500 words of native writing

Everyone is stuck on this magic number when it comes to content length.. 500 words. This is ridiculous thinking but many people believe it because “500 word articles” are the rage.. $5 articles written by a native.. A what!? Native writing is just a fancier term for “outsourced crap”.. but people still live by the 500 word article rule.

Think about it for a minute here.. How many real websites do you visit that are full of 500 word articles. No more, no less. Does Huffington Post only publish 500 word blog posts? No.. that is unrealistic and if you load a website up with 100 articles and every single one is 500 words it looks so unnatural. Egg Hunt Final.

Even if you don’t care if a single person reads your content.. you need to make sure that it LOOKS natural. You should have some posts that are 300 words and include images, maybe even a video.. some outbound links to relevant authority content. Mix in some 400 – 1200 word pieces.. along with some 2,000.. oh and maybe one that is 2,537 words.. MIX IT UP!

Get a writer that is really from the US (or whatever country you are in).. note: a US writer will never call themselves a native. That is silly talk. If you buy a $5 article expect $5 results.

So, in terms of content:

*500 words is a myth. Mix it up with content of all different lengths…remember you want to look natural

*”Natives” are people that want you to believe they can write.. but they still sling crappy content with a fancy “native” name.

I’m not even kidding about this. Next time you are asking for “samples” from the PBN (public blog network) sellers take a look at all the posts.. They are ALL 500 fucking words.. Talk about a major footprint..


4. Publishing a crap load of content on your website will automatically make you rank higher

“Content is king!!” How many times have you heard the SEO guru circle jerk spit this nonsense. Just publish a crap load of “high quality” content and Google will reward your website! This is wrong. Links will help you rank higher, not content alone.

The content movement makes sense if you REALLY understand HOW content can help you GET LINKS. If you write blog posts until you are red in the face you aren’t going to rank! You could post 10 great posts a day but if you don’t add links to the mix you will still sit there and not move in the SERPS.

The idea behind good content is this:

1. Publishing quality content gives your traffic something to read every time they come back. If you don’t already have this traffic publishing content alone won’t make them appear out of the sky.

2. Good content will receive social shares. When people share your content on social media it will attract new people to your website.. you might even get so many people to read your content that other websites start to link to it. This is the kind of link benefit that content can help with.. but only if your website already has huge traffic numbers – Your site still has to be found.

You see, the whole “content is king” BS works for sites like Huffington Post that already receives millions of visitors a day. These people share the content and they get links built 24/7 from other sites linking to them.

The same approach for Jim’s car repair will result in NOTHING. They could write 10 blog posts a day and type until their fingers bleed and they won’t see the top of Google. Content is a MEANS to get links.. It isn’t the solution to rank.. Links are.. Links will always be top dog (Hai zso!)

5. Domain authority is where it’s at. PR is dead.

All the SEO gurus don’t throw the term “PR” around any more.. it is now all about “DA” now. Domain Authority is a metric from Moz that is supposed to be similar to Google’s PR. While it can give a good indication of a sites authority, it can also be manipulated with Fiverr spam so it is basically useless.

If you look at expired domains you can often find sites with a DA of 50+ and it is all due to thousands of Chinese spam links. It is too bad that these gurus talk about DA like it is the ultimate tell tale sign of a strong domain. Link sellers are all about DA because of these guru clowns and you will see people selling blog posts based on DA. You have to really go in an look at a domain to determine whether or not it is worth going after a link. If you just base your decision on DA alone you will end up linking on a bunch of useless spam sites. Don’t believe the DA hype.

seo bullshit

6. Letting other sites syndicate your content leads to more exposure and “earned links”

A lot of the SEO gurus will talk about syndicating your blog so other sites will publish your content and more people will see it.. that is a retarded strategy. Guess what this does? It results in duplicate content.. I have seen so many sites get nailed because larger authority sites were syndicating their content and it was being indexed on their site first, leaving the little guy to get hit because of duplicate content.

The ONLY way to do this is to make sure that sites republishing your content includes a canonical tag identifying your site as the original creator. Personally I don’t even mess with that either – Too many risks and not enough reward.

7. We can guarantee top rankings

I still see guru’s claiming guaranteed ranking or pushing some sort of magic super powered system which will put favillian monkeys in your papal account. It isn’t just low level sellers that make this outrageous claim!

Let me tell you this. I will go slow…please pay attention.



Anyone claiming to do so is either completely retarded or believes you are.. no one should ever make such guarantees as no one however good at SEO can predict the future.. those who do make those sort of guarantees are out for a quick buck.

8. High bounce rate = loss of rankings

Another guru myth.. You have to look at your particular website when analyzing bounce rate – Every situation is different. If you are ranking an inner page that has a free offer that you are using to build an email list your bounce rate is going to be sky high no matter what. If the person lands on the page and doesn’t complete the offer it is going to count as a bounce. If they do complete the offer it is going to register as a bounce in most situations as well because they are remaining on that page or being redirected to a confirmation page that doesn’t always sit on the site domain.

Looking into the bounce rate is good when analyzing some pages, but not all. A high bounce rate isn’t going to impact your rankings. Worry about your bounce rate for other reasons like user engagement and effective interlinking to keep users on the site! but don’t worry about it in terms of SEO rankings.

9. Private blog networks are the only way to rank now (wait, what are public blog links?)

Private blog networks work and they work very well when done correctly. This means they remain private and nobody ever finds out about them (aside from the site owner) and no other website links from the network.

I want to break beer bottles over my head every time a new service launching claiming PBN links and the seller sends out “samples” to every person (and Google employee) that asks for them.. Private!? Wut? That is a public blog network and if you are allowing these people to build links for you then you are asking for serious trouble. You might as well tweet Matt Cutts and ask him to forward your domain to the spam team so they can torch it.

Any “PBN” that you find in a market place is a public blog network.. It doesn’t matter if they have whois privacy and are all on separate hosting.. there are multiple sites getting links from them – They do not look natural at all.

A true PRIVATE blog network is custom built for each site.. and ONLY that site is linked to.. You also want to include links to other authority sites and resources to make it look natural but that’s the height of it.

10. Social signals are key (here are 50,000 of them!)

Another guru bandwagon claim is that social signals are the new links. This is crap. Sure, social signals are good.. they tell Google that your site and content is popular but if you think you are going to rank with social signals alone you are high as fuck.

People are also riding the guru BS train and selling social signals in huge quantities.. Guess what? They are fake.. Don’t you think Google is smart enough to detect which ones are natural and which ones come from social signal farms in India or China? Of course they are!

Ordering these huge social signal packages is worthless.. You are basically throwing your money out the window. If you are using social signals take a look at the crap you are receiving.

Again sites with huge traffic and readership are going to get social signal naturally.. from real users. These are good. Social signals from farms in India or China are horrible. You might as well just hashtag #GiveMeAGooglePenalty.. because it is that obvious.

Well there you have it.. these are just 10 of the many SEO lies that the guru clan floods the web with,, be wary when you see them in future. Feel free to share your own.

Any questions? Post them in the comments and I will do my best to answer. Ciao for now..

Tommy McDonald

Tommy is an SEO professional with years of experience running highly successful SEO companies, founded SerpLogic after noticing there was a major void when it came to options for SEO agencies needing a reliable and professional one-stop outsource solution.You can read all about me in the “About” page here on our blog!

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